If you’re in charge, please read this.

It’s time to give yourself a break. 

Business owners and executives arguably have the loneliest of professions. They are in charge of complex things, and because they compete openly in the marketplace, there are few people, if any, they can truly share the hard times with. 

They are used to being in charge, in control, perceptibly immune to stress and pressure, highly resilient, the calm ones who provide experience and balance. They are the problem solvers, often highly skilled in communication, especially when it’s about vision, strategy, markets, performance, and those they work with.  

They have an outsized influence upon their employees’ jobs, career prospects, compensation opportunities, company strategy and value in share price. Some of these people in charge – not all – desperately avoid showing weakness and indecision. 

It’s worth noting that those in charge may be at higher risk of mental health issues: Professor Jayne Barnard has noted that “… the pressures of leading at the top exhibit themselves in recurring pathologies in CEOs—narcissism, over-optimism, fear, anxiety, anger, obsessive compulsive disorder and depression.”

Those in charge are more likely to suffer depression (at double the rate of the general public) and are less likely to ask for help. They may view depression and self-medication simply as the result of sustained stress, a temporary situation that will pass. Ironically, their strength of character can actually turn to a weakness when it comes to admitting the need for help and seeking it.

After all, who can they talk to? Fellow executives are empathetic to a point, but there are often competitive issues at play, and they may assign and sense weakness. There is an obvious inappropriateness in talking to those they manage, and although there may be a full well of empathy and support at home, it is difficult for them to keep drawing on it.

For the many who suffer mental health issues, it can feel like there’s no place to go, at least without significant risk.

In eleven years, I cannot think of one business owner I’ve worked with who hasn’t needed some form of support and counseling, often played out in tears. I know that may sound either horrible or a silly punch line, but it is achingly true. I needed it when I was a business owner, and nowadays, I’ve learned how to slow down on advice, and really, really listen.

I remember telling my wife about a string of bad days when I was in charge of the e-learning business I founded. I appreciated her support and thoughts, and was humbled to find out a month later that my dump had produced an unitended impression of things not going well. I didn’t want to share, partly because I didn’t want to rehash every detail, I didn’t want to try to make sense of it, and I didn’t think anyone was really qualified to help me with my “complex problems” anyway. How wrong I was. 

If you are in charge, and feel at risk, please reach out to someone.

Obviously, I feel passionately about this issue – thoughts?